Guest Post -- Helping Your Loved One in the War Against Cancer

Helping Your Loved One in the War Against Cancer - Written by Cameron Von St. James When someone you love is stricken with a life-altering illness, it is devastating for the both of you. Your whole world will be turned upside down as everything in life revolves around that person and managing the disease. I had a crash course on what it takes to become a caregiver. When my daughter, Lily, was only three and a half months old, my wife was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, a rare and very deadly cancer caused by asbestos exposure. It was supposed to be the most incredible time of our lives as we watched our beautiful baby grow. Instead, our lives became visits to doctors' appointments, horrendous treatments, and a time of great uncertainty and fear. Seven years later, we are blessed and my wife is cancer-free, but I haven't forgotten those troubled times. We have both learned valuable life lessons and now know that we are much stronger than we ever could have believed. Today I am an advocate for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance, reaching out to others who are going through a similar battle. It is my hope that I can help others in some small way. Here are my top five tips for caregivers to help them ride out the storm when illness strikes a loved one. 1. Remember to take care of yourself. You are going to be so caught up in your loved one's illness that you may tend to forget about yourself. This is the last thing you should do. If you are run down, weak, or make yourself ill, you will be of no help to anyone. Be sure to eat healthy meals and get exercise. Being physically active will make you stronger and help you to relieve the overwhelming burden of stress that comes with your loved one’s illness. You need to get your rest as well. There will be times when you just need to take a break. Don't feel guilty about this. You are human, and the more energy and rest you have, the better care you will be able to give. Turn to family and friends to relieve you when there is a need. 2. Take that helping hand and hold on tight. When the battle against your loved one’s illness begins, you are going to have an outpouring of love and concern. People are going to want to help you. Let them. This is not being selfish. You are helping them to deal with this troubling time as well. Accept offers of food and time. If someone volunteers to babysit or run the car pool, graciously say thank you. Turn to support groups, community centers, and any resources that are provided through the hospital as well. 3. Do the research. Become educated about the disease, the treatments, and what is to be expected after they are over. Learn about home remedies and give them a try. You have nothing to lose by being open-minded. Learning everything there is to know about your loved one's ailment will mean no surprises. You'll know what is coming, what is normal, and find out if there is anything you can do to make the journey easier. 4. Get organized. Your life is going to be difficult enough without having to worry about disorder and chaos. Get yourself a planner, a calendar, and a filing system. Keep all of your information about doctors' appointments, treatments, bills, and medications in one place. While you're at it, you'll probably want to simplify the rest of your life as well. This might be a good time to ask friends and family to help you get rid of any clutter to make it easier to keep up your home. 5. Get your priorities straight. You need to sit down and think about what needs to go to the top of the list in your life. You'll find that your loved one, any other family members in your household, and yourself matter most. All of the rest is going to have to come later. Don't expect everything to run smoothly. You need to go with the flow, make the most of good days when they come, and work your way through the bad days. Keep loving and hoping for a brighter future. http://www.mesothelioma.com/treatment/resources/ http://www.mesothelioma.com/mesothelioma/ http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron/

Community Care Access Centres

Community Care Access Centres (CCAC) is the link to care in Ontario. This arm of the Ministry of Health and Long Term care is your best chance for getting government paid for services. However, as our population ages and the demands on this system are stretched, qualifying for these services is becoming more and more difficult.

There are a number of service arms within the system but the gate keeper is the case worker at CCAC. They have access to the various services which include

In Home Care

Wound Care

Dietician

Physiotherapy

Occupational Therapy

Speech Therapy

Long Term Care Placement

Convalescent Care

Adult Day Care

Palliative Care

It is important that you identify what services you require and people who live alone are considered more vulnerable and access to services may be greater.

Influenza and seniors

You may be wondering why a healthy, young person should consider getting the flu shot. Do it for the people that you love. Compromised immune systems, often the case with seniors, are unable to battle these bugs like a healthy person. If you get the flu, chances are you will pass it to them.

Germs:
are spread by contact (person or surfaces)through droplets from sneezing or coughing
Can project up to 2 metres
live on skin for up to 10 minutes
live on surfaces for up to 48 hours
incubate up to three days meaning you are contagious before you know you are sick


What can you do??
Get the flu shot (always consult physician first)
Wash hands frequently
Wash down surfaces frequently
If you are sick, avoid visiting family until you are better

Help your loved ones by not getting sick.

Failing to provide the necessities of life

So much for honour thy mother and father. The recent incident of the 68 year old women left by her son and daughter in law, to live in an unheated room since November, is more then sad. I would like to hear what they were thinking when they made this decision. This is one of the worst elder abuse cases that we have heard about. I wonder how many more situations like this are happening right now.....

New medications give hope for those with dementia

Friday I attended a luncheon with speaker Dr. Sharon Cohen discussing some exciting breakthroughs in the medications for those who suffer from dementia and hope for all of us in the future that may fall victim to this devastating diagnoses. It is great to know that recent discoveries have led to the identification of a clearer diagnoses and also treatment options that both slow and, in some cases, reverse the memory loss associated with the illness. Ask your doctor about the human trials being done and ask when the new medications will be available.

Dating and seniors – encouraging companionship

The loss of a life long companion leaves a hole in the life of the remaining spouse and can leave adult children unsure of how to fill this gap. Even the most dedicated children are hard pressed to find time in their busy lives to see their parent as much as their parent may want. It should not be a surprise when two people, who have both faced the loss of a spouse, find each other and begin to build a new foundation on their common experience. With good health and financial stability, it can be the best time of their life and this new relationship can provide both companionship and boost confidence. Emotions surrounding this budding relationship can be mixed as everyone tries to maintain loyalty to their deceased family member and allow their remaining parent to continue to live the life they want. Time does heal all wounds. Embrace this new opportunity and with time and encouragement, a family, looking for happiness for their parent, will accept this new person.

Elder Education

Recently there have have been care conferences and Zoomer Fairs popping up all over the city. Although, illness and aging, are still not a topic that some are comfortable facing, these events are very informative and can save all of us time and money. From how to source care for aging relatives to services and products that allow you to stay in your home, this is vital information that could allow you to take control of what seems like, an uncontrolable situation. More information can be found at www.carp.ca

Appling for long term care placement changes

As of July 1st, 2010 the process for applying for long term care has changed. Families who would like to consider placing a loved one in long term care need to contact their local Community Care Access Centre (enter postal code to find the right location) http://www.ccac-ont.ca/ and complete an application which is now moving from paper to electronic form. Other changes include that 5 homes can now be applied for at the same time (previously the maximum was 3 homes). A word of warning, make sure that the homes selected are somewhere that your loved one really wants since, should a bed become available at any of these homes, you will be strongly encouraged to take it. Not doing so can lead to a 6 month penalty. Also, under the new long term care act, Retirement Homes can apply for temporary licencing and bring long term care residents into their homes. Details of how this will work and who will fund, still to come.

Be prepared, best defence against long ER wait times

Although much work has been done to reduce wait times in the Emergency Rooms, the article that appeared on the CBC news site clearly states that we still have a problem.

Wishing that things were different is not enough so preparing for the ER visit is your next best defence. Before leaving for the hospital or once you arrive, ask a family member to bring items that will make your stay more comfort.

• Bring a book, ipod or laptop that can play movies to pass the time


• Bring food, water and any medications that may be required prior to admission


• Also bring pillows and a blanket....better safe then sorry

Seek medical help if you need it but make sure you make your stay as comfortable as possible.

Aging issues get well deserved ink

Recently a number of books have been released that reflect the needs of our aging population.The Essential Hospital Handbook helps families navigate the hospital system and advocate for their ailing loved one's.

You could live a long time, are you ready? is another must read since we are all aging but we can learn little from previous generations since there has never been this many people, advancing in age, at the same time, with such a high life expectancy.

And, for my co-author and I, May will be a monumental month with the release of our book Now What? A Practical Guide to Dealing with Aging, Illness and Dying. The book is available at Chapters and can be ordered from our website http://www.officialnowwhat.com/

Written as if you were speaking with your best friend, we offer advise in a friendly, heart-to-heart manner with factual material in easy to read, short passages. Now What?? provides answers to questions you did not even know to ask.

Cost Containment limits CCAC services for seniors

Last week, just when I thought we were turning a corner on improving the emergency room services and the access to senior services at home, I was completely floored to find out that Community Care Access Centres (CCAC) are putting seniors on wait lists for homecare services and, at the time same, sending them home from the ER without proper care. I cannot understand a system that expects people, who have paid into the health care system for their entire lives, to accept this poor level of service. Should you be aging, or have a family member who is aging, please educate yourself on the services that are available to you and how to access these services or you may find yourself with no one caring for you except your family.

Marketing and Communicating to the "over 50's"

• 
  If you run a business, sell a product or provide a service, it is important to run your business with the “over 50” market in mind. They hold the largest disposable income that our industrialized world has ever seen and it is important to know this customer and make their experience a positive one.
  
  Use a minimum 12 point font size to ensure that older eyes can easily read about what you are trying to sell.
  
  Printed materials are easier to read if there is lots of white space and there is dark type on a light background
  
  Ensure your client care specialists speak clearly and slowly when answering customer inquiries
  
  When designing web pages, make sure there is a magnifier easily visible to adjust type to a larger size
  
  Offer easy access to a live person for questions not easily answered on line or through computerized menus

Clarington Older Adults anything but bored

The Adults of the Clarington Older Adult Association are vibrant and very connected to their community. They are involved in learning new activities and their 2010 winter guide is filled with great activities. With fitness, dance, art and photography classes to choose from there is little chance of getting bored over the winter months. It is a thriving association with over 800 members with 250 members recently joining. I will have the privilege of speaking to these new members on March 20th and I am thrilled to meet these vibrant, involved members of the community.

Signs of aging bubble to the surface during holiday season

Here we are in the second week of January 2010. The holidays can be a whirlwind and the return to routine is welcomed by many.

As we reminisce about our family times over the holidays, this may be the time that you realize your parents or relatives are starting to show signs of aging.
Did your Aunt, who lives alone and does not get out much, look un-kept or her house uncharacteristically dirty.
Did your Mom seem distant in the family get together because she was having a hard time hearing?
Did your cousin, who lost her husband last year, still appear to be depressed and having trouble living alone?
If any of these ideas strike a cord with you, don’t sit idly by. You care for these people and there are resources available to help. Open the dialogue and then research what help can be provided. Share your caring ways the whole year through. All the best for 2010.

Gifts seniors you love, will really love

With the holidays fast approaching, it can be difficult to know what to buy for the seniors that we love. Generally, more household items are not needed, in fact they are probably trying to get rid of stuff. Instead, try giving them items that are practical and add value to their lives:

Tim Horton Gift Cards – with a hand written note saying you will join them once a month for coffee.

Swiss Chalet Gift Cards – no cooking required, a gift we all love to get

Diabetic Socks - great for anyone with circulation troubles

Long Shoe Horn – no more bending over to put on shoes

Magnifier – makes that tiny print easier to see

Blank Cards – give them a year supply of a selection of various occasion greeting cards, saves them going out to buy them

Snow Shovelling/Grass Cutting - pay for a service cover household chores. Gives “peace of mind” to all

Subscriptions – pay for their annual magazine or newspaper subscription

Taxi Gift Card – give them gift certificates to take taxi’s. May really come in handy on a snowy day

Hair Dressers Coupon – inquire about gift certificates for the salon they frequent


We hope this will give you some ideas to show you care and happy holidays everyone!!

Elder neglect is abuse

For the past number of weeks, the Toronto Star has featured articles about Elder abuse. It is a crime of our time and something that the elderly and their loved one’s need to understand. Fallacies that the article noted were:

· Abuse of the elderly occurs more frequently by family members then strangers

· Abuse occurs more often in a home then in a care facility

· Neglect is abuse

· Abuse can be physical, psychological and financial

The Government of Ontario is running a series of ad’s to bring awareness of the problem into the public domain. If you suspect elder please contact the Elder Abuse hotline at 1-866-299-1011 or go to their website at http://www.onpea.org/

Care for Aging Parents and Sandwich Generation makes the grade

Over the past month eldercare courses have run at both Centennial College and Durham College. There has been a noticeable change in the number of people attending these courses and the information they are looking for.

• Adult children in attendance were comforted to know that they were not the only one's with concerns for their aging parents


• They were surprised to learn how much there was to know


• Did not understand why there was such a disconnect to the available resources

The courses provided a snap shot of the chain events that lead aging parents through illness and the care required to provide a good quality of life. Estate organization tips, as well as information regarding key documents like Powers of Attorney and Wills were also discussed. My hope is that people attending these courses disseminate their knowledge to family members, co-workers, neighbours and friends and we are able to help each other with these critical life decisions. In- house courses are available for your work place or check out our website for upcoming college seminars .http://www.estatemattersinc.com/caringmatterseducation.htm

Bill 139 changes Eldercare

Bill 139 which, if passed, will come into effect next year, addresses some the concerns expressed in my last blog. People hiring Personal Support Workers through an agency, will have an opportunity to hire them to work for them directly after one year of employment. Additionally, agency "finders fees" would be eliminated and employees would begin to get paid for statutory holidays. Although this will result in a cost to the agencies, and may even lead to cost increases for care, the results are positive for an industry that we need desperately in the coming years.

PSW's - stuck between and rock and a hard place

In the Toronto Star this week there was an article about some unscrupulous people handing out Personal Support Worker degrees for a little money and providing not much in terms of actual training. I remember in University, taking "Healthcare in Canada" and it discussed the ramifications of Health Care reform and the shift that took place in health care in general.

• Nurses were no longer involved in actual care, but, instead, became administrators
• "Hands On" care support was given to more Junior staff and, to ensure they did not get too close to any one patient, they were constantly rotated to different floors and different shifts
• No longer were 40 hours of paid work guaranteed and benefits were reduced, and in some cases, eliminated all together.

The current problem is a symptom of a much bigger cause. Those who we need the most, when we are sick or dying, we treat the worst. These are tough jobs, requiring 24 hours per day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year of care. It is time that the job reflected the importance and, as a society, we need to provide the respect and support that these healthcare workers deserve.

Fashion for all ages

Recently we had the absolute privilege of clothing shopping for a very fashion savvy senior. At 97, and a former fashion designer herself, she was tired of having clothing that did not fit, would bunch up and wrinkle when she sat down, and were just not all that comfortable or attractive.

This lady knew exactly what she wanted. Colours and patterns, not humdrum beige and black patternless materials that you see a lot of seniors wearing. Something that would look smart, yet would move with her body and not be too tight going across her Osteoporosis challenged spine.

We started by measuring her and then asking her what she did like that was in her wardrobe. The bright colours seemed to always make her happy, as did the clothing that did not wrinkle up too easy.

After a few hours, we had virtually emptied her closet of clothing too small or just not something she would wear. Taking samples of materials and styles that she did like with us, and armed with the measurements that we had taken, we came back one week later with bags full of clothing. A few nice jackets, that she could mix and match, a number of pairs of pants and a lot of great tops. She was thrilled!!! . Remember, aging in style keeps us all young at heart!